1 – Effect on you
a – What happens to you – if you expect bad things they tend to happen, and if you expect good things they tend to happen. We attract what we envisage. I don’t know why this is, but it’s definitely true. People who are unlucky then expect to be unlucky again, and their expectations come true, and so they get into a loop. Be in a good loop rather than a bad one!
b – How you interpret what happens – some people focus more on the bad things, and if you spend more time focussing on bad things (especially things you can’t do anything about, because they are already in the past, or are unavoidably coming up in the future) then you start to believe that your life is worse than it actually is.
Some people get really knocked sideways by the random bad cards that we all get dealt, and they allow those to ruin everything else. “I can’t enjoy the party, I’m still fuming about that scratch on my iPhone / about what Fred said to me / about the parking at the party”.
Also – do you take the opportunities when they come up? It is easy to fail to pick up on the good opportunities: “I could have gone to Australia but at the time I was too busy” etc.
2- Effect on others – and therefore you in the end
- You’ll attract more positive people, because they tend to avoid negative people and gravitate towards similarly positive ones.
- They’ll want to work with you – when people are choosing teams, or interviewing for jobs, they prefer positive people.
- You’ll affect their attitude – whether in a positive or negative way – so you’ll get back what you give out.
3 – Is it annoying to be TOO positive?
Not if you don’t talk too much. Quietly positive is the key. Whether you are thinking positively or negatively it’s best to be a good listener and ask others about themselves.
4 – Can you change yourself?
Yes! And surprisingly quickly!
I mentioned earlier that negative loops are self-perpetuating: thoughts lead to actions which lead to experiences which lead to beliefs which lead back to thoughts.
So the key is to break this loop by controlling your thoughts. Start a game to never think or say anything negative. Push those negative thoughts out with positive ones. Say to yourself “The party WILL be fun”. “The Presentation WILL go really well.”
This feels rather odd at first but becomes a habit very quickly, and then it’s natural and requires no further effort – you have moved up to the positive level!
You might also want to think about the influences of others on you. Negative people, negative reading (papers, magazines), negative TV programmes, these all drag you down, so it’s better to avoid these and select positive people and experiences so that you feel good from every interaction.
Onwards and upwards!