Last night Sally and I went out to see Malcolm’s band, ‘State of Undress’, at the local Liberal Working Men’s Club. Not normally a place I would frequent, in fact I’d never seen the inside before and had to sign in and pay a whole pound, but I wanted to see his only local gig for a while.
Just after we’d got a drink and sat down, the bloke on the next table (shaved head and wearing a sweater over a white t-shirt) pointed at my glass and said with a mocking tone “Are you drinking WINE?”
and I thought to myself ‘This is 2010 but it might as well be 1970 in here”, and also
“how odd to feel the need to control not only what you drink but also what other people drink. He just couldn’t bear the thought of someone else drinking something different to him. A microcosm of our world where you’re not allowed to be gay, not allowed to be black, not allowed to wear a crucifix, not allowed to even wear a t-shirt tucked in to your jeans. What is it with people??
I was reasonably assertive, replying “Yes, it’s what I like, I don’t have anything to prove”, but I did feel that there might have been a better riposte. How annoying it is when you only think of great lines afterwards! But at least with a blog you can write them all down, which is therapy of a sort, and see if anyone else can come up with a better one. These are my thoughts so far!
“Are you drinking WINE?”
- “Yes, I’m not from around here”
- “Yes, I prefer it to beer because it’s stronger”
- “Yes, I’ve stopped drinking beer because I find it turns me in to a TWAT”
- “Haven’t you ever seen a bloke drinking wine before?”
- “Yes, I ordered it by mistake”
- “No, this is beer but in a small glass – it’s cheaper like this”
- “Well, imagine my excitement when I spotted a cheeky little 79 vintage sauvignon blanc behind the bar, and at £13.99 a glass it’s a complete snip”
- “No, it’s my own urine, I have AIDS you see”
I think that one or two of the above might have resulted in a fight, but maybe 1, 2 or 4 would have been effective….
Anyway, thanks for a good gig Malcolm, and for yet another bizarre incident which I can mull over and laugh about.
PS – Listening to Gil Scott-Heron: Me and The Devil. Amazing!