Chris Croft's Personal Blog

February 28, 2010

Are you drinking WINE??

Filed under: Assertiveness, Random stuff - uncategorisable — chriscroft @ 10:52 am

Last night Sally and I went out to see Malcolm’s band, ‘State of Undress’, at the local Liberal Working Men’s Club.  Not normally a place I would frequent, in fact I’d never seen the inside before and had to sign in and pay a whole pound, but I wanted to see his only local gig for a while.

Just after we’d got a drink and sat down, the  bloke on the next table (shaved head and wearing a sweater over a white t-shirt) pointed at my glass and said with a mocking tone “Are you drinking WINE?”

and I thought to myself  ‘This is 2010 but it might as well be 1970 in here”, and also

“how odd to feel the need to control not only what you drink but also what other people drink.  He just couldn’t bear the thought of someone else drinking something different to him.  A microcosm of our world where you’re not allowed to be gay, not allowed to be black, not allowed to wear a crucifix, not allowed to even wear a t-shirt tucked in to your jeans.  What is it with people??

I was reasonably assertive, replying “Yes, it’s what I like, I don’t have anything to prove”, but I did feel that there might have been a better riposte.  How annoying it is when you only think of great lines afterwards!  But at least with a blog you can write them all down, which is therapy of a sort, and see if anyone else can come up with a better one.  These are my thoughts so far!

“Are you drinking WINE?”

  • “Yes, I’m not from around here”
  • “Yes, I prefer it to beer because it’s stronger”
  • “Yes, I’ve stopped drinking beer because I find it turns me in to a TWAT”
  • “Haven’t you ever seen a bloke drinking wine before?”
  • “Yes, I ordered it by mistake”
  • “No, this is beer but in a small glass – it’s cheaper like this”
  • “Well, imagine my excitement when I spotted a cheeky little 79 vintage sauvignon blanc behind the bar, and at £13.99 a glass it’s a complete snip”
  • “No, it’s my own urine, I have AIDS you see”

I think that one or two of the above might have resulted in a fight, but maybe 1, 2 or 4 would have been effective….

Anyway, thanks for a good gig Malcolm, and for yet another bizarre incident which I can mull over and laugh about.

PS – Listening to Gil Scott-Heron:  Me and The Devil.    Amazing!



  1. Well, it’s 4.30pm in the afternoon and I have a glass of Sainsbury’s red chilean plonk on special offer – very nice too! But then I’m a female and the singer so that’s probably perfectly acceptable! Great to see you at the gig, Chris. All I can say about the Club is the previous time we played there, one of the regulars said to me: ‘I tell you what my love I enjoyed that gig even more than the Roy Chubby Brown tribute we had here the other week.’ High praise indeed. Probably our best quote of the last 12 months! They’re a wonderful colourful lot but warm as toast!

    Comment by Charlie — March 1, 2010 @ 4:39 pm

  2. The real test would have been if you’d drunk BEER. Could they have coped with that?!
    Anyway, great to hear from you Charlie. I did enjoy the gig, especially the first set, great stuff.

    Comment by chriscroft — March 1, 2010 @ 7:35 pm

  3. Possible other sarcastic answer: “Yes apparently they sell it here”.
    “No, it’s watered down Green Chartreuse”
    “And your point is…?” (But that’s probably asking for a fight as much as your other suggestions might have been.”
    How weird. I’ve never come across anything like that.
    I have that too sometimes because I’m really not that keen of most beer except Timothy Taylors (which you had in the pub of the last Lost at Sea I attended) and a few others, and people call me ‘lager boy’ … ‘are you scared you might taste something..?” etc. Very odd that beer (a relatively very low alcohol drink is somehow more street cred/macho in the eyes of some. Just strange really. [See my sport comment though…..!]

    Comment by Paul — March 2, 2010 @ 7:30 am

  4. I would have gone with something like “Yes, beer tends to effect my hair growth and dress sense. Nice jumper by the way.”

    A psycologist once told me that if you follow a thinly veiled insult with a compliment, it will effectively confuse the hostile (or potential in this case) into doing nothing. Never tried it though.

    Comment by Simon — March 2, 2010 @ 10:26 am

  5. unfortunately there are people in the world unable/unwilling to keep their ‘in head’ thoughts in that location. I can only assume that they feel threatened in some way (though it would be soft to admit it… It means they have emotion).

    i think any response translate’s in Ugg’s head to ‘I want to fight you’

    Comment by Frog — March 2, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

  6. It’s sad but true, some people simply have to comment because you don’t conform to what they feel comfortable with.

    I’d probably have gone with #3 or “Yup”. Failing that “Yes they were all out of Creme De Menthe”.

    Comment by Wizzard Prang — March 3, 2010 @ 10:45 pm

  7. Rule #1 of working mens / social clubs – Never ever drink anything that’s on tap. They only ever clean the lines about once a year (as it causes a couple of pints of wastage, and tyey’re generally too tight to allow that) so on a good day your pint is a bit furry, on a bad day it’s positively chewy. Not nice. Stick to the bottled stuff.

    Comment by Technical Dave — November 15, 2010 @ 11:04 am

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