OK, before we get to the Olympics, let’s get a few things sorted out:
Rugby: I’ve long wanted them to stop people kicking the ball into touch on purpose, so why not say that all line-outs are level with where the ball was kicked, whether it bounced into touch or not. Also, less points for penalty kicks. We want running and tries!
Football: (oh dear, here we go!) – bigger goals. Yes, only a bit bigger. Goalies have got much bigger since the goals were first designed. A foot on either end and on the height would mean you’d get scores like 7-4 and hardly any nil-all draws. You know it makes sense. I’d also say that the refs should look at video footage after the match and anyone found diving could get a post-dated yellow-card.
Tennis: reduce the importance of big serves and get longer rallies by having slightly bigger balls, or only one serve. And encourage drop shots by having a longer (but same width) court.
Cricket: (who haven’t I upset yet?) – make everyone in the team bowl at least one over, and also, have the worst batsmen in first (not sure how you’d enforce it) so you’d see them every time and there would be more action at the start.
Motor-racing: make the fastest people start at the back. Plenty of overtaking!
Golf – just abolish it.
Just kidding. But I hear that you can play Speed Golf where it’s the time to go round that counts, not the number of shots. Interesting…
And here are some wonderful replies I have already had:
Rugby. You must be/have been a back. So come up here and and watch a proper running game called “Rugby League”
I have never understood how two sets of 8 blokes, heaving head-to-head in their own bastardised version of the Eton Wall Game demonstrates any sporting skill whatsoever!
Soccer. I agree on goal size. Post match video footage re diving – yes – but also make Managers and Clubs take responsibility e.g 5 yellows for diving = one league point deducted.
Goalie should not ever be allowed outside penalty area. If he does transgress it should be an opposing free kick on edge of box adjacent to where he crossed the line.
Cricket. Ideally the greatest sport should not be messed with at all! But as cricket is a highly tactical and skillful war of attrition it cannot be appreciated by the great unwashed. So it has to be mucked around with in order to “entertain” them and then obtain the revenue to survive such barbarism. Leave Test & County Crcket alone for the afficionados but jazz up all one day, 20/20 etc by:
1) making 10 players each bowl 2 overs in sequence, then if batting side still in start sequence again.
2) the fielding side select the batting order of their opponents, after which
3) the batting side select the bowling order of their opponents.
Formula 1. A complete waste of time, money and energy resource for competitors and spectators.
Any form of Motor bike racing. Exciting, enthralling. Perhaps improved by your suggestion of starting the fastest at the back, and with season’s riders’ championship based on both points for final position & number of places gained in each meeting.
Golf. Should be made to be played with snooker cues.
And in a short time all redundant Courses turned over to sports grounds for primary and secondary schools with adjacent public park lands, all maintained from the green fees paid by the idiots who continue to play “snooker golf”, plus “highway fees” to be extracted from all the nutters (male and female) found running along the roads pounding their knees into early osteo-arthritis, whether clad in Lycra or not.
Bas is obviously a Northern Monkey (no disrepect meant), but the art of scrumming is a detailed and dark art and only available to those who have played and survived in the front rows!
Less points for penalties Clive Rowlings (referee) suggested increasing penalties to 10 points, stopping teams from deliberately killing the ball or giving away penalties rather than a try. Whilst we would all love to see free flowing rugby as per Wales early 70’s, Ba-bas until they became pros it is not going to happen until the ball is allowed to played quicker.
I totally agree with banning F1 – how can it be justified as a sport -it is a posession of planet destroying, wealth eating, ear shattering glorified go karts!
For tennis, how about higher nets – would stop all the power shots and become a game of skill and shot placement.
On a personal note – how does snooker and darts warrant so much TV time?
yes I agree about snooker and darts. They obviously require great skill (which I do’n’t have!) but they don’t feel like proper sports. i think this is because they don’t have a time axis – you can take as long as you like between shots, there’s no time-based interaction. You could almost play them on your own. A bit like golf – no time interaction, and you could play it on your own. Although with snooker you are sharing the cue ball and your tactics do depend greatly on what the other person does. Hard to claim that with golf or darts. Yes, i like a typology that lumps golf in with darts!
I’m just so sick of the sight of footballers who are lightly touched (or not even touched at all) writhing around on the ground in ‘agony’
and then as soon as they’ve got their free kick they up and about again as if by magic
so my suggestion is
a) if a foul appears to have been committed, yes give the injured party a free kick, but if the injured person is unable to get up straight away then they have to be carried off for 5 minutes to ‘recover’
b) have a look at the video evidence after the match and any diving (or undetected fouls for that matter) could be punished with a post-match yellow card